Welcome to the first publication of the Worst Boss Award. The Worst Boss award goes to that one superior that makes your blood boil, they make dragging your ass into work that much more painful, but most of all they are the one that you love to hate. Majority of what they say or do just rubs you the wrong way and it takes everything inside of you to bite your tongue, smile and say “Yes, of course, I’ll get that done right away…” All the while you are using the sharpest pins to poke and prod the voodoo doll you have so carefully crafted to match every detail of their being – in your head.
So who is our first winner of this prestigious award? None other then the most notoriously disliked person around our office…Gary Pickles! Now Gary is the guy who sends you emails long after you have left the office, or more conveniently as early as possible so when the sun hits your eyes in the morning and you wake up, roll over, grab your phone to turn off your alarm there it is…an email from Gary sent at 5:45am. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside – really gets me fired up for my work day… Apart from Gary’s fantastic email skills where he usually makes you feel inadequate or is a sarcastic prick, he has many other qualities that prove he really is the worst boss and whole heartedly deserves this magnificent award.
- Gary will avoid your request for recognition; rather spinning it into a “learning opportunity” that is really him just being condescending
- He is copied on most of your inbound emails and replies to things within 60 seconds with direction for you to do your job seemingly making you appear as though you are incompetent, because you know…you have no clue what you are doing
- He waits for shit to hit the fan and then turns to everyone else to clean up the mess but in the end takes the credit because he “delegated”
- He provides false hope for better opportunity within the company so that you will complete reports that are half a year backed up because he failed to follow up and when you finally do complete them all – he takes you to Harvey’s…but takes the actual recognition. Wow thanks Gary.
- He sits in his office all day looking important but is most likely playing solitaire waiting for an email to come through so he can shoot you some directions on how to do your job – which given the opportunity to actually do your job, he fails – like hard
- Probably the most annoying thing about Gary is that when you actually need help with something or are looking for approval on actions before going forward with them he gives you the run around – it is never just a yes or no, his responses are long winded and mostly useless or he cracks a joke and moves on **HELLO I STILL NEED HELP!**
The number of times it has taken everything in me not to yell directly in his face about his short comings is borderline ridiculous. I always need to remember that I am at work, I will not like everyone at work, and I still need to pay my bills so this job is basically my life line. I will go home, smoke one and move on with my day only to be so fortunate to have it repeated tomorrow. So here is to you Gary, the big cheese! Congratulations on being the first WORST BOSS. You didn’t work hard for it.