There is a woman in my office, we’ll call her Pyscho because it’s fitting, that is absolutely terrible at her job yet seemingly safe in her position. Doesn’t every office seem to have one of these? Psycho is officially a Customer Service Rep whose primary task is to answer phones and she does it with the same enthusiasm a dying cat on the side of the road would have for the task. Before I met her I thought she was an elderly woman who was forced to work to supplement her retirement and very angry about it, that’s how her voice comes across. And customers complain! And management doesn’t care! WTF?
Psycho and I once went out for lunch because she wanted to introduce me to an authentic Spanish restaurant she loved. Like most people we both only get an hour break so after eating and chatting for 45 minutes I realized we only had 8 or so minutes to be back within our hour and it was a 10 minute drive to work so I said, “Hey, we should probably get the bill and head out so we aren’t late” and she flipped out on me at the table, in this small restaurant with 4 other people.
Some highlights of her rant include
“I never take my break! If they want to talk about me being late then let them. I am always at my desk and work harder than anyone.” (She left to “care for her grandmother” for two weeks and there was no noticeable increase in anyone’s work or any pileup upon her return)
“I am the happiest person in the office, I work hard to be cheerful on the phone and people notice. Even if I’m having a bad day I will take the phone away, take a deep breath and then say hello nicely.” (See above for my impression of her phone manner)
“I just get used because I’m so helpful and then I have to keep everything bottled up inside.” (The same woman who has told all 100 something employees in this office every bit of her life)
“I deserve my breaks and I will fight for them! Even if the VP says I’m stubborn they are my breaks. I get one hour and I take it every day because I can.” (Literally three minutes after saying she never takes them, I should get an award for keeping a straight face)
She has also maxed out her vacation for the year, she managed that by February 20th, by pretending her grandmother and then uncle and then father were all very ill and she needed to travel to care for them. It was just luck that she met a guy (who she may just move back to buy a house with!!?). Side Note: her last boyfriend moved to Egypt to marry his cousin on his parents request so she, after some serious cyber stalking, decided to get back with her ex-husband. Except now we have this man in Ecuador so bf and hubbie are out of the picture.
The icing on the cake came today when I realized that she’s submitted a vacation request for this coming December.
She fucking predicted her grandmother’s death. I am done.
So congrats Psycho! You are officially the Worst Co-Worker, The Big Cheese is yours.